A shout out to Single Moms

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When I got married and decided to become a mom, I knew one thing, I wanted my husband to be involved.  When Mia was born he was still working 2nd or 3rd shift.  We made our life work around that schedule. He stayed home with her during the day, I stayed home with her at night.  It was great and while we didn’t have much time together, it worked.  When Roman was born he took a position that allowed him to work days and have weekends off.  Our routine changed to conform to that. To be honest I forgot what those shift work days were like until recently. Josh was on call and working 2nd shift.  He got home, went to bed, only to be called out at 2am.  This didn’t really affect me until the alarm went off and I realized he still wasn’t home.  You would have thought my world had ended.  How was I going to get myself and 2 kids ready all by myself?  I had to be at work, Roman needed dropped off at daycare and Mia had school. I was running around frantically, almost in tears, stressed to the max when it hit me.  My mom did this everyday, by herself, after my parents divorced.

2 kids, 2 jobs, college classes, dinner, groceries, play time, cleaning, teaching, and the list goes on. This is just a portion of the things my amazing mom completed all on her own.  I was raised by a single mom from childhood and while I appreciated what she did, I never really understood the multitude she provided until I became a mom myself and my routine was shaken.  I married a police officer, which sometimes meant shift work, overnights, overtime and crazy schedules. This worked great while we were childless, but add a baby into the mix and life was different. The nights Josh was gone, my routine was completely off.  How was I supposed to feed, bathe, and play with the kids while still maintaining a clean house all by myself?  I was reminded what I did for days at a time on my own, my mom and other amazing moms completed weekly, monthly and yearly on their own.

I will never claim I am/or was a single mom, but I do know that there are many situations out there that can leave a woman in that position, or feeling that way.  Shift work, excessive travels, military wives, widows, divorce, choice and so many other factors can leave mom at home with lots on her plate.  I am amazed, astonished and grateful for the women who have taken on this task and do it so well.  My mom was unbelievable, playing the role of mom and dad, giving discipline and loving unconditionally in the same breath, working hard to provide at all costs, and always having time for a silly game.

What I have realized is that although I have created my life around a 2 parent household, I am thankful for the reminders that keep me grounded in where I came from, what my mom sacrificed for me and how hard it is to be a parent regardless of your situation.  I was also reminded that no matter what the situation we have a common goal as moms.  To love, provide, teach and guide our children.  The other thing I was reminded of was every mom could use a little support sometimes; a phone call, a premade dinner, a night out with friends or an offer to watch their kids while they get errands accomplished.

This is a thank you to all the single moms who play all roles for their children.  This is also a thank you to MY MOM who provided me a childhood I wouldn’t change for the world. A woman who taught me my situations were never an excuse but a reason to be stronger and fight harder. A woman who showed me what it looked like to give 110%, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  A woman who showed me how to love selflessly.  And a woman who I never really appreciated or understood the multitude of what she did until I became a parent myself.  

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Heather
Heather was born and raised in the Quad Cities and has been married to her “Gold’s Gym” crush since October of 2004. After battling infertility more than once, and experiencing a miscarriage she is now called mommy by 3 little miracles; Mia ('08), Roman ('10) and Vivian ('15). Heather has a Masters Degree in Organizational Leadership and works part time as the Director of Human Resources. She is passionate about sharing her story in the hopes of reaching others and spends the rest of her “Free” time working out, playing games, going to church and carting 2 big kids to all their activities.

7 COMMENTS

  1. Agreed, beautiful post…. Just when you think you have it tough, there is a woman next to you dealing with another of different challenge in their life. But we all have one thing in common- we do the best we can!

  2. great post, heather. a great tribute to your mom. i know what you mean about sometimes getting a “glimpse” of single motherhood. matt goes to bed at 8 and leaves for work at 3am, so i do all of the morning and bedtime routines alone. it’s hard work, and it makes me really appreciate what single mothers do every day. i agree that i can NOT say that i understand being a single mother, but no matter what kind of mothers we are, i think what you said is true…we need to support each other, offer help, and remember that everyone has their good days and their bad days. thanks for the reminder!

  3. Heather, what a great tribute. Knowing your mom like I do she is fantastic at tons of things. It is great to see that things are going well.

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