YOU KNOW YOU’RE A BOY MOM IF…

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I’m the mom of a soon to be six year old boy, four year old girl, and two year old boy. So I may not be your poster “boy mom” because there are definitely some pink ruffles rocked around here, but believe me when I say that I have boys who know how to BOY.

That’s not to say my girl doesn’t know how to GIRL, hello teenage emotions in four year old body.

But today, we’re going to focus on the joys and puppy dog tails that come with boy-dom.

  1. You open the washing machine and find 24 pebbles that were inevitably stuffed in one of their pockets from recess at school.
  2. You can’t use pants as hand me downs because all the knees are holey … within days of wearing them. Thankfully the holes are in style so you don’t have to toss them until they’re so big the pants are falling apart.)
  3. You have to say “no wrestling here.” A lot.
  4. You find yourself trying to stifle laughter at their ridiculous potty humor. “Booty Tooty Bemon Bootie” is my two year old’s favorite phrase before bursting into laughter. It’s hard to keep a straight face, you guys!
  5. You never stop buying food. So much food. All the food. Maybe you should just go into the grocery business.
  6. You have to pry like crazy to hear about their days.
  7. You know their hair stylist well because their hair grows faster than the weeds in your nonexistent garden. (Who has time to garden?! Not this boy mama 😉
  8. Legos, Legos, Legos. Every. Where. (In the vaccum, under the bed, in the washer, etc.)
  9. You yourself could label the dinosaur fossils at the field museum.
  10. You are a pro at cleaning urine messes on and around the potty.
  11. You have used the phrase “Get your hands out of your pants.” or “push your penis down so you don’t make a mess.” or “Please put on some underwear.”
  12. “Don’t jump off of that….”  aaaand too late.
  13. You have been to the ER for ________________ (fill in the blank.) Us? It was to get a lego blown out of his nose. (Seriously, y’all.)

And a few more from my fellow mama bloggers:

14. You buy fart guns for Christmas.

15. Your baby greets you with a “love” headbutt.

16. You can fix everyone’s hair for school in 2 minutes or less.

17. You catch yourself wondering how many more years until you’re the one in his arms.

18. You know the names of the legal nerf guns at Combat dartz.

19. Everything is Star Wars.

20. Dead animals. Just…yeah.

21. War stories (The I survived series especially) are bedtime stories.

22. Boxing gloves come out on the regular.

23. You’ve had the “no means no” talk (proactively).

24. Your basement smells like something awful. Or smells like an Axe body spray factory. Neither are good.  

25. Most pictures end with someone dabbing.

26. They knock you over with their love. (literally and figuratively)

Being the mom to boys is not at all what I envisioned. It is so so so so rididculously much better. I could snuggle all day long with my sweet boys and I want them to stay little forever. 

Mad boy mom love and props to all of you boy mamas!

Which ones can you relate to? What would you add to the list?

 

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Olivia is a girl who loves Jesus, is head over heels about her hubby and is beyond thankful for her three miracle babies. Olivia also has lots of children in heaven as a result of recurrent miscarriages. She is passionate about bearing and sharing hope with those walking through the darkness of infertility and miscarriage, and is working on a book entitled "Bearing Hope: Navigating the Darkness of Waiting for a Child." She still can't believe how awesomely God brought Coleton into her family through adoption, and how He blessed them with Annabelle thirteen months later. Baby Calvin was born a couple years later. She teaches yoga, writes, and runs to keep her stress levels under control. On any given day, you might find her singing worship songs in the kitchen, sniffing essential oils, or curled up in the corner crying because mommying is hard. She relies on good friends, holy yoga and yummy food to keep her sane. Read more of her stuff at Liv Ryan.

3 COMMENTS

  1. Ermagersh these were hilarious. Seems like the urine factor is about the same in our house….gracias potty training… These are so funny! I want a boy!!!

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