Once upon a time a girl wanted to be a mom. She became a mom and she couldn’t wait for her children to become old enough to play sports, instruments, sing in the choir and generally be involved in many amazing extracurricular activities. She envisioned sitting calmly next to her husband and family with full makeup, dressed up, video device in hand and maybe a bouquet of flowers in her lap. Peacefully enjoying the arts and soaking in culture.
That is all a BIG FAT FANTASY.
The reality is that on Sunday I check the calendar and start having anxiety over how I’m going to get 2 daughter’s to a band concert at the high school, another daughter to her band concert at the Intermediate school. They both have to be there at the same time and the schools are in opposite directions. My heart begins to beat faster as I realize I don’t have my son’s soccer schedule yet, and these concerts are also the same night as kid’s club at church. (Breathe. Just breathe)
Thankfully this is the day I’m off work early so I don’t have to beg for rides for both girls, but that also means this is a gym day. So I’ll grab everyone from school, throw sandwiches at them and race to the gym to lift and then race home to start the drop off process. Makeup has now become a smudged memory on my face and I’m finding a seat with my chalky, stinky gym clothes, avoiding sitting close to anyone, to spare them from my haze.
I text with my husband to see if he is going to be off in time to go to a concert or if I need to do pick up as well. Gah! Switch to video, her solo is coming up!
Once upon a time I used to think I had to be at every event for every kid.
There will be times it is just impossible to be at every event. If I can make it in gym clothes or work clothes or a mumu-awesome-I’m all in.
When I can’t make it-it doesn’t mean I don’t love my kids or that I’m a bad parent. If you’ve bought that lie, throw it out now. I spent too many events having guilt that I couldn’t be there and feeling like a failure.
Josh and I attend as many events as possible for our children and those we miss out on, we sit and ask questions and let them tell us everything they can about the event. Sometimes this means we get our own private concert at home!
There is enough mom guilt to fill the grand canyon so just drop this burden from your thoughts right now.
What about you? How does your family handle busy schedules and missing out on events?