You’re doing all the things and keeping all the plates spinning, but your life is controlling you. You are getting the job done, but it doesn’t feel good. I’d love to share with you some tips on how to get back in the driver’s seat and take control of your life! I will show you how to learn to make shifts in your thinking that will make a huge difference in how you feel.
“People will like me, or they will dislike me, and it will have nothing to do with me.” – Abraham Hicks
Mamas, who can relate? You are trying your very best to do ALL of the things. Get the kids to and from school on time, while juggling your side hustle or your full-time job of motherhood and work-life sanity. You are making sure that there is food in the fridge, there are clean clothes, that the books are getting returned to the library and trying to map out when you plan to take a shower.
All of this while making sure that you and your family are eating healthy, keeping on top of the finances, trying to get that workout in (which hasn’t happened in months) in the midst of carpooling your kids to their activities. Meanwhile, you just remembered while putting your little one to bed that tomorrow is the classroom party! You’re in charge of the classroom games, so you quickly jump on Pinterest to come up with a creative idea! I mean, it’s been a couple of days, right? (Or is that just me?) Looks like it’s time to get back in the driver’s seat and take your life back. But how?!
Girl, You Have What it Takes–Get Back in the Driver’s Seat!
We try to be all of the things for everyone, but over time we start to forget that we as mothers need to take a break- before we break. We start pushing our feelings down to the point we do not even know what we are feeling until we explode! We may feel irritable, or alone. We may even feel like nothing will get done unless we take charge and do it. We start to do more and more, and end up doing less and less for ourselves.
Maybe our past family baggage starts to show up in our current lives. We all come from different families, different belief systems. For me, I grew up “playing it safe”. Don’t rock the boat. Don’t bother anyone. Be polite. I grew up in a household that wanted to blend in.
My laugh was SO unique and loud, I remember my dad would say, “Rumaisa shhh”… Not because he disliked my laugh, but because he himself did not like attention to be drawn to him, and me laughing would do just that. For schoolwork, I was insecure. I didn’t think I was smart because dad would want to look over my answers to make sure they were right. You see, he was a civil engineer-things had to be perfect. However, the way he saw the world, would later affect the way I would see the world. I grew up not thinking I was smart, and that what I had to say was not very important. I spent a majority of my life trying to blend in. But that was then.
This is not my now. Even though the past wants to creep in ime and time again, it is my responsibility to remind myself that this is not my reality. To get back in the driver’s seat, I need to keep affirming who I am now.
Boundaries – Less Yes and More No
The more you can identify what you are feeling in the moment, the more you can identify what you need. It’s ok to say no. Give yourself permission to ask for help. Try the opposite of the way you have been doing things. Challenge yourself to go for your own satisfaction.
Yes, this is going to be uncomfortable at first. Maybe even seem impossible. But I promise you- the more you try, the easier and easier it will get. But first and foremost, you will have to try. Your outcomes will not change until you can believe that they can change.
To get back in the driver’s seat, try one small thing every day. Moment to moment. If you hear a negative comment directed at you, this is the time to speak up and say, “I disagree.” If you are used to being the one to drop off and pick up the kids and do their morning and night routine, it’s time to ask for help. I guarantee the more that you speak up, the more you are shifting the dynamic of the relationship.
The selflessness turns into self love. The victimhood of feeling alone, turns into power! Rather than looking externally at what others are thinking, you start to become more confident with your own actions and decisions, and start to understand what you will and will not tolerate. Your confidence builds, and you start to become more comfortable with who you are.
Surround yourself with others like you
The more you lean into wanting more for yourself, the more you will attract others similar to you. Being surrounded by people who share similar beliefs, visions and goals is much easier than trying to change people who have opposite beliefs and interests. Allow the change to happen. Meet new people, join a new group or better yet, if something in your community interests you, go alone. You never know who you are going to meet!
Hey, don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I’m perfect. Do I get my feelings hurt? Yes. Do I want to cry sometimes? Oh yes!
However, I am able to shift from “poor me” to “powerful me,” MUCH faster! Once you can identify the hurt, you can shift it into asking more, wanting more and doing more. It starts with different choices and practice.
If you need some help getting back into your drivers seat, contact me for a free 30 minute coaching consultation. “Girl, You Already Have What it Takes!”
On the podcast, “Real Talk with Ru”, in this episode, I discuss how to know if you’re inadvertently blocking yourself from living your best life. Give it a listen! You do not have to live like this, and you CAN have more!