A Guide To Friendship as an Introvert During A Global Pandemic


It’s what we introverts have been waiting for our whole lives: The President of the United States of America has not only excused us from all social gatherings – he has encouraged it. Our literal dreams have come true.  But friendships as an introvert are important to me!

We’re several weeks in. Have we suddenly realized we miss our friends? I mean, it took us longer than most, but it’s finally happened. We introverts are craving our friendships, and realizing we’ve been neglecting them. I’ve been so busy managing Zoom calls for all of our different groups that I thought I was connecting.

When I throw in the craziness of everyday life, educating four kids at home – I’m peopled out while I’m stuck in. We all know that friendships are hard.

Introvert + Friendships? Even harder. Introvert + Friendships + Global Pandemic & Social Distancing? Never mind. I give up. See you on the other side. It’s been easy for us to drift into the background when we aren’t supposed to go out. But friendships as an introvert still matter to me!introverts friendships

How can we as introverts stay engaged in a world designed to keep people apart? Begin by taking a deep breath. Then choose one thing. People-ing is hard for us, don’t overdo it and recluse again.

Check in with your friends.

  • A quick text to your closest friends can be enough to let them know that you’re still there, and you remember that they are too. Friendships as an introvert are significant.
  • You could also create a shared note with a friend. This can give you a space to write out a thought or two and allow them to respond without the constant ping of a new message.

Take a break from social media.

You keep hearing it and probably because it’s true. Social media can make us feel like we’ve been in a room with a hundred people but we really haven’t connected with anyone. Turn it off for a time, then when you crave a conversation you can reach out and text a friend you haven’t talked to in a while.

Continue to schedule friend time.

  • Anybody else realizing you haven’t talked to one of your closest friends in three weeks?*raises hand* When all of your opportunities for face to face conversation are stripped away (church, park, PTO, mom’s group) and we are instantly forced into a whole new way of living we can forget about taking time to maintain our introverted friendships.
  • Schedule a phone call with a friend once a week before the kids wake up. Or a meet up and sit in the back of your vans and talk to each other. Be careful not to over schedule though, lest we bail…er, I mean, cancel…introverts friendships

Be aware of a friend that might be struggling right now.

Sometimes checking on all of our friends can feel like too much. But remembering one friend that could use your conversation and choosing to check on them regularly will go along way to carrying you both through this difficult season. All of your friends will love the attention you’re giving to your friendship as an introvert, and it will especially matter to your extroverted friends!

Self-care is a part of maintaining friendships as an introvert

  • Without taking care of our own needs how can we possibly reach out to a friend? If you’ve been neglecting your self-care you might be totally drained.
  • Where did you get your alone time before you were forced to be in your house surrounded by your children all day every day?
  • If you used to work out with a friend every day, plan a time when you can work out together while still apart.Then text each other when you’re done to give some high fives.
  • Did you go to the library by yourself to read or journal in solitude? Pretend you’re doing the exact same thing at the exact same time – but go sit in your van instead.
  • Try to keep your self-care routine as close to the same as it was before, and modify it to fit the social distancing guidelines.

Take heart, this will end eventually and when it does, our introverted friendships will be stronger for it.

Brie Kellett is a homeschooling mom of four in Walcott.  She married her husband, Aaron, in 2004 and they have been Quad Citizens ever since. When not doing all the things that go with educating and raising four kids, she enjoys snuggling those crazy, beautiful people, dates with her husband, being outside, running, reading, crochet, and quiet time alone. 



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